It is never too late to talk to someone about your past. One might think that after 10 or more years, the wounds have healed, but while wounds left unattended can heal, they leave scars that exist with us for life. ?I know many women (and men) have still yet to processes many parts of their past. I thought surviving an assault would become my 'identity,' and what I thought that meant at the time challenged my beliefs about who I thought it was. I didn't tell anyone about my assault for over 10 years, likely because of shame, shock, denial, and an inability to come to terms with it. For some, it takes decades and many life experiences to truly process what has occurred in our past. She continued in the caption, 'It is still Sexual Assault Awareness month, and I felt it was important to share this. She wrote more in the caption of the Instagram post and encouraged victims to contact RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), which works with WWE Hall of Famer Mick Foley to bring awareness. As the shame was stripped away, my power emerged.' I know that if I were put in the exact same situation, all these years later, I now have an arsenal of physical and psychological tools to defend against him. In reality, it wasn't until I was able to identify it as such that I was finally able to take back the control that I felt was stolen from me that night. One might think that acknowledging a sexual assault would make someone feel powerless. Self-defense is the mindset that we deserve to be protected, supported, and safe, and that may mean seeking help after an incident occurs. Self-defense doesn't end if/when an assault takes place. In order to authentically ask others to advocate for themselves, I had to be an advocate for myself.

It took me embarking on my journey in Women Empowered to garner the confidence to acknowledge the reality of what happened, and then share my story with others. If we did not offer our consent, it is sexual assault, and in many cases, including mine, it was rape. This form of cooperation can even be considered a survival tool in some circumstances, but it does not mean that we allowed it, wanted it, asked for it, invited it, or chose it. When we are faced with a situation that seems impossible to get out of, or would require a battle we don't believe we are equipped for, we often feel we have no other choice than to continue without resistance.

It is so common for women to believe that because we didn't physically 'fight' him off, we invited it, and it wasn't rape. At the time of the assault, I used all of these circumstances to tell myself that I had participated in the act, when in reality, my verbal and physical resistance indicated otherwise. It happened on a night with mutual friends, alcohol, and while I was out of town in an environment that was unfamiliar to me. Torres wrote, 'It took me 10 years to admit to myself, and then to others, that I was a survivor of rape.

Eva torres song writer